Most people know that I have been married before. It was to someone I loved very much, but things were just bad and he turned out to be a very abusive man. After almost 5 years of being together, we got divorced. Needless to say, I was heartbroken and felt like a fool and a failure. I felt like I would never get over the divorce and be heartbroken for the rest of my life. Two and a half years later I can honestly say I am over the whole situation, but now there is a new question floating around in my brain: Will I ever get married again? Someone asked me that a few months ago and at the time I said yes I would, but ever since that day I have been thinking about it and now I'm not so sure I would attempt marriage again. So many people get divorced, and the statistics of my second marriage ending in happily ever after is not in my favor. Why subject myself to that again? Do I really need a piece of paper to prove my love for someone?
I don't know if I am thinking this way because of my divorce or if I am thinking this way as a way to protect myself? I haven't been in a real relationship since my divorce and I'm starting to wonder if I will ever be in one again. Maybe this whole "I don't think I'll get married again" thing is me just trying to act like I don't care that I have been single for 2 and a half years.
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