Get me out!

So the whole point of me going through these 1600 hours of cosmetology training is so I can become a licensed cosmetologist. Well, in order to become licensed, I have to take two different tests administered by the state. One is a practical exam, I perform a haircut, perm, color application, iron curl, lightener application, manicure, and relaxer application on a mannequin to prove that I know how to do what I am doing and how to do it safely. That's a little nerve racking only because these people are going to be watching my every mood, critiquing it and then grading it. AH! The second test is just an exam. The exam has 100 questions, all multiple choice, and is taken on a computer. That one doesn't scare me, I can handle a 100 question test.

In order to prepare us for the tests, my school has us practice the test over and over and then we do mock State Board exams and get graded on those on three different occasions. I'm all for being prepared, but can't we just take the real damn test and get it over with?! I mean, it can't be that hard! Think about all the hair stylist you have been to in the past, all of them passed the test (even the really crappy stylists).

I guess I am having a case of "senioritis". I ready for school to be over and I really don't feel like doing anything else or taking anymore tests.

Three more months!

I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes...

Drinking wine and thinking bliss, is on the other side of this
I just need a compass and a willing accomplice
All my doubts that fill my head are cascading up and down again
Up and down and round again, down and up and down again.

Oh, I've had my chances and I've taken 'em all.
Just to end up right back here on the floor.
To end up right back here on the floor.

Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel.
Fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell.
But I'm not scared at all..

The cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball.

Sometimes you think everything is wrapped inside a diamond ring
Love just needs a witness and a little forgiveness
And a halo of patience and a less sporadic pace and
I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes.

Oh I've felt that fire and I've been burned
But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned
I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned.

Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel.
Fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell.
But I'm not scared at all..

Of the cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball.

Irony, irony, this hate and love, hate and love
What it does to me, what it's done to me.
What it's done...

Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel.
Broken mirrors and a black cat's cold stare,
Walk under ladders on my way to hell, I'll meet you there.

But I'm not scared at all
I'm not scared at all.

Of the cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball

Year in Review 2008

My favorite Christmas gift...

I don't know why this happens and every time it does happen I get more and more frustrated, but I feel like I am spinning my wheels. I feel like no matter how hard I try nothing ever changes. Financially things keep getting worse and that frustrates me most of all. I'm use to not having extra money and not being able to do fun things sometimes because I have to watch my pennies, but it is so hard to deal with that around christmas time. The past few christmases things have been really bad, last year we didn't get any gifts at all (well actually I got one, it was from my pxpx secret santa) and this year we have a few very small gifts (like lotion, body spray from bath and body works, etc) but barely anything for christmas dinner. I went to the grocery store earlier today to attempt a miracle; buy a weeks worth of groceries and something somewhat special for christmas dinner for three adults with only $50. That was fun.

Now with rent coming up and all of my bills coming due at once, I am again spinning my wheels. My mom got another job offer, the last job she got offered was for a fantastic art job in seattle but they had to let her go after one day because business was bad and they didn't have enough work. That was 2 weeks ago. Now she got offered another job through a temp agency, also an art job, and this one is a temp to hire; meaning after three months the company will hire her on as a permanent employee. Yay! Unfortunately it's too late to help with this month's bills. My aunt, well her old boss still hasn't paid her for her last few weeks of work and it looks like he never will. Her new job won't pay her until the beginning of January. Ugh. Again, too late.

A month from now everything will be much better, but these last two weeks of 2008 and the first two weeks of 2009 are going to suck and be hard to get through. I feel like I have lived through this nightmare already....oh wait...I have. :-/

So this blog isn't TOTALLY depressing, I want to mention somethings that made me smile today. I realized, by what a few of my friends did today, that what I do and say matters to those around me. They didn't do anything huge, and to them it probably didn't even matter, but to me it meant something and made me feel special. Thank you.

The best christmas gift I can ever receive isn't bought in a store or wrapped up in ribbons. It's free and doesn't have a gift receipt. My friends, I love you. :-)