Sometimes, I think this is true...

"Every story has an end, but in life, every end is just a new beginning..."

So it's official, I'm out of school until further notice. Coming up with over two grand is not something that is possible right now and things are so tight at home that I really need to work full time (well more then full time, 60 hours a week) to help turn things around. I'm totally bummed, but I know that one day I will go back and I will graduate. No doubt about it. Even though I am not in school right now, I am going to take my State Board Licensing Exam for Cosmetology the week of February 9th. I was signed up to take the test before I knew I was going to leave school, so I might as well get it over with. This is the exam that, if I pass, would make me a licensed cosmetologist in the state of Washington. So at least I will have that out of the way, then all I have to do when I do finally get back in school is finish up my required hours and then get the hell out of there.

So, even though leaving school has really bummed me out, I am trying to be thankful for what I do have. I just got hired at a company in Bremerton working full time, considering how many people are out of work right now, it is truly a blessing that I found a second full time job so quickly. Also, my current job has agreed to let me work only saturdays and sundays, so I can work both jobs at the same time, again I am totally thankful that they are willing to be so flexible with me.

I found out yesterday, at my six month check up at the oncologist, that I am still cancer free and there is no sign or reoccurrence. That makes 18 months since I ended chemo with no sign of it coming back! Yay! The closer I get to 5 years of no relapse, the better. When I do hit the 5 year mark (and I will!), my chance of the cancer coming back goes to almost zero. For that, I am extremely grateful!

Let's see, what else is there for me to be grateful for right now? I have friends I love dearly, a beautiful home, a dog whom I love very much, a wonderfully supportive family, food on the table, gas in the car. I have lots to look forward to this year, celebrating my 27th birthday (seriously?! 27?! Whoa.), lots of upcoming shows, hopefully Lindsay coming to visit soon, getting back into school and finishing, watching a friend get married (and getting the privilege of making her look extra beautiful that day), and so much more that I don't even know about yet. My life may not be perfect, I may be way behind on my bills, struggling from paycheck to paycheck, but the basics are still there. As long as I have that, the rest will come together eventually. I know, with all my heart, that everything happens for a reason. I cannot wait to see what's going to happen next, it's an adventure.

I have faith.

Beauty School Drop Out

"Beauty school dropout,
No graduation day for you.
Beauty school dropout,
Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo....

Baby get moving,
Why keep your feeble hopes alive?
What are you proving?
You've got the dream but not the drive....."

I got suspended from school on tuesday. Not because I did anything bad or talked back to a teacher or failed a test, but because I couldn't pay my tuition payment. The director of education called me into her office and told me I have until January 20th to come up with $2300 or otherwise I will be dismissed from school and have to wait 5-6 MONTHS before I can be reinstated. Needless to say, I'm heartbroken. I was so close to graduating (a little less than three months away) and now I can't finish. I tried to get approved for a student loan or a private loan, but so far no luck. I am so mad and disappointed and I feel like a total loser. I really wanted this and now I feel like I am watching it slip out of my hands.

To put insult to injury, do you know what the director of education told me I should do to get the money? Win the lottery. My world is falling apart and her solution is for me to win the lottery. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard that, it made me feel even more useless.

So now I am forced to take a 5-6 month break from school, save all the money I can and then try and be reinstated.

I really hate life right now.

With a song in my heart and your lyrics on my lips...

If you know me at all, then you know that I love going to shows. Live music is a huge thing in my life and it's where I love to be. Since 2009 started I've seen two shows already! New Year's Eve I saw Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, it was my first time seeing them and they were amazing. Can you believe she's 50?!




They definitely put on a terrific show and it's really great to see a female musician who can kick some ass on stage.

Then last night I went to a very last minute Tumbledown show. The more I see Tumbledown, the more I love them.


For those of you who don't know, Tumbledown is MxPx frontman Mike Herrera's side project. I've been an MxPx fan for quite some time and I've always loved their music and related a lot to the songs they've released, but the more I listen to Tumbledown the more I connect with it. I don't know how to really describe it, but Tumbledown seems to be directed towards a more mature and adult audience and deals with issues that someone in their late twenties through thirties (and on) would relate to (struggling to find a job, gripes with the way the country is run, trying to feel at home, and attempting to drink away your problems). They're more of a bar band and MxPx is more of an all ages band. Both Tumbledown and MxPx have records coming out in 2009 and I think I am more excited to hear the Tumbledown one suprisingly. I'm just so eager to see where this band will go and I try to get as many people into them as I can. Speaking of that, www.myspace.com/tumbledowncountry is their myspace, if you haven't already, go check out their music.

A few more pics from last night...



And just because I think he looks funny with a beard...


2009 is going to be a great year, I can't wait to hit up even more shows!